Reference resources
https://www.cdc.gov/parents/essentials/overview.html
https://www.babycenter.com/
Important Milestones: Your Baby By Four Years | CDC
Apps for tracking milestones
CDC's Milestone Tracker: Download it free today on iOS and Android:
external icon
external iconhttps://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/milestones-app.html
Babycenter
Naturally use "parentese" to – a way of speaking to babies in simplified sentences and phrases with a high-pitched voice. Choose colourful, sturdy books for babies.
How to hold a crying baby: link
https://www.babycenter.com/baby-products/toys-and-learning/best-baby-books_40007666
07 May 2022
This morning, when my son woke up, he cried and persistently yelled at me to force me to lie down on the bed with him. I had no choice but to listen to him although I want to train him how to wake up or get back to sleep by himself.
In the afternoon, we went to the bookstore so that he can wind down and hopefully behave gently. I hope that it could help him to relax and enjoy life instead of being a whiner. However, when we came home, he got fussy because he wanted me to open the chewing gum box but he did not say a single word but kept crying, yelling, and throwing tantrums. Applying some practical advice from the "Duct Tape Parenting" book, I tried to ignore him when he got fussy. He kept whining for almost half an hour, and then even hit the fridge. As a result, I punished him with time-out, saying clearly to him that I let him time-out because he hit the fridge, and would let him go until he calmed down. Finally, we got back to normal.
Next, he did not want to take a bath yet. Getting some practice advice from my wife, I told him to take the toy vehicles to the bathroom, and let dump the water with the dump truck and excavator. He finally listened to me.
Here are some excerpts from the parenting book mentioned above:
Duct Tape Moment: Hold your tounge and your reactions until you wee one stumbles onto another voice and then - make the connection
A child's negative behavior provokes emotionally charged, consistent responses from them while positive behavior from a child evokes calm, unemotional, even responses. In a child's mind, the intensity and consistency of the response is what counts.
I can get my mom to look at me and talk to me by using a whiney voice. This is how I keep mom engaged with me and this is who I am in the family
08 May 2022
We're living in an apartment building where there are two elevators in total. Such number of elevators already makes the residents feel sick when travelling by elevator on peak hours. Today, to add insult to injury, none of the elevators can work because of their out of service. I have no choice to walk downstairs from the 14th floor.
Last night I spent the whole night fixing the apps and games function on my kid's Kindle Fire. I tried contacting Amazon for support, but it seems they can't deliver the solution but some generic advice. With the inherent characteristics of a troubleshooter or a hacker, I figured out myself after trials and errors, finally finding out that a function in my kid's profile on Amazon was missing. This morning, my dear boy can enjoy playing the educations games, even including more available functions like videos which were not available in my country in the beginning.
He wants to poop, and I devote one hour of my time sitting down to play with him after I have convinced him to try pooping in his potty. Nevertheless, he cannot poop and then goes to take a nap without having lunch. Sometimes, it is fine for me to ignore his behavior.
He's crying and whining now, waking up at the nap time and insists on asking me to continue to sleep with him. I'm trying to ignore his fussy, and doing some stuff. Not sure if it is the correct approach, but it seems a better option in the long-term future.
09 May 2022
Today is Monday, which is the beginning of a new week. As usual, my son wakes up and asks me the most haunting question "Today is...". Although he is aware of today, he still expects it to be weekends. This time, he gets out of his bed and gets fussy trying to force his father back to sleep with him. I am still persistent, saying clearly that he has two options: the first option is to go back to sleep by himself, the second one is to get up and play. He surely does not make any of my given choices but to whine. I just keep ignoring and focusing on ironing my clothes. Finally, he gives up and gets back to sleep. Then, he wakes up by himself, playing with the sound book. I join him at this stage.
The elevators at my apartment building still have some problems, which take us 15 minutes to go to the basement. My dear son still asks me to hold him, and this time I have no choice but to fulfil his wish. Next time, I will find a different strategy and try to change him.
What a great milestone that I've made with my child! Keep believing, try to improve your parenting skills by reading the books and be patient. It would eventually pay off!
He's already sleeping tight now, and it's time for me to wake up to do some stuff like learning or writing diary.
I am going to have a party with my Bosch ex-colleagues, and I plan to take my dear son with me so that he can socialize with them. He's kinda shy, so I think it's a good chance for him to hang out with me and talk to my friends.
10 May 2022
To my surprise but it is what I expect so much, my son wakes up by himself and plays with the sound book. At first, he seems tired but then gets more excited and pleased. Furthermore, he even can walk to the elevator and travel without me holding him. I feel so proud of my little boy recently.
Next time, I will train him how to make the bed before getting out the bed. It could be very difficult or infeasible at this stage, but I will try and it would succeed eventually.
Another thing that I feel so proud of my boy is that he can usually communicate with me in English. Although he has some pauses sometimes, he still can express his speech clearly.
11 May 2022
I go to bed late last night because I spent my time joining cybersecurity webinars, till 1am this morning. When I wake up in the morning, my son, who was still sleeping at that time, got up suddenly and threw tantrums, forcing me to get back to sleep. As before, I kept calm, saying clearly to my son "You get back to sleep by yourself, or you get up to play". Certainly, he gets whined, but I am more decisive, trying to behave as if nothing happened. Then, he hit me, and as a result, I warned him with a clear but firm message "If you hit me, I will punish you a time-out, no toys to play with, no one to see". Luckily, he gets scared and stopped his violent act.
Finally, he gets calm and then I talk to him. He plays with the sound book and his favourite toy vehicles. Afterwards, I take him to school normally with any "strong wind" from him. What progress!
12 May 2022
My son cannot poop poop. Actually, he tries to hold his bowel and it has lasted for a couple of days. In the evening after we have come home, when I'm taking a bath, I hear the sound of something broken. My son said "Papa, the clock broken". However, when I opened the bathroom door, I cannot believe that it is the glass cup, which breaks and scatters over the floor! Fortunately, my son's toe just got injured slightly, but it is not very serious, and it's quite lucky that he does not step on the broken glass. I should be careful next time by not putting any fragile things on the table or on high surfaces.
13 May 2022
My dear son can wake up by himself now. What a success! I feel so happy and excited that we've achieved this milestone.
14 May 2022
My dear son wants to poop poop, but one more time he tries to hold his bowel so that the shit cannot get out. What a naughty boy!!! I do everything that possible to convince him to sit down on the potty (potty training), and after a struggle, he agrees to put his ass down on the potty. I bribe him to play the game, so he does not focus on his pooping.
After an hour, he wants to go to nap after lunch. However, seeing him still want to poop poop, I use another strategy: that is, to play his favorite songs so that he can feel excited and can poop poop. Even I put on the diaper for him, he does not try to poop poop. Hopefully, he can try his best after the nap time so that we will go hang out with my former Bosch co-workers. It's a great chance for my son to socialize!
In contrast to what I expect, my son did not talk to my former co-workers much. Some of them are very friendly and open to him, but he's still a little bit shy, and especially very uncomfortable since he has not pooped pooped yet. He keeps asking me to hold him. Finally, I have no choice but to say goodbye to everyone early so that he can go home and poop poop. However, OMG, when we come home, he just sits on the sofa and his face is extremely tired and uncomfortable. To make him move, I play the "rescue team" game: I ride the scooter and fall down on the ground, then I call the "rescue team", who is him. He then comes to the scene to rescue me. He does it for a couple of times, and then continues to sit on the sofa. I ask him in a hopeless voice "Do you want to poop in the potty or in the diaper? If you want to poop in the diaper, you need to get up. If not, the shit will get stuck in your ass". He ignores my advice. Feeling hopeless, I go to the bed room, keeping silent and focus reading the book. Actually, I apply the duct tape parenting technique, which I expect that he will finally get up and poop. Around 10 minutes later, he says "I'm pooping papa". Wow, what a relief I have at that time!
15 May 2022
It is a beautiful Sunday for me and my loved son. So is the weather and the same is for our morning activities. First, to start a new weekend day, he wakes up by himself, going pee pee and do not forget to say good morning daddy. Then, we do an exercise outdoor: he is riding his balance bike while I am running by his side. It has been quite a long time we resume our physical activity, mainly due to his bad health recently. After that, I ask him to buy breakfast but he refuses and insists on riding home. At that time, I know that he is so tired, and then he gets fussy. Luckily, I manage to buy sticky rice and then we get back to our apartment. After having the breakfast, we go to the bookstore so that he can play on the playground. There are some kids approaching and getting the dump trucks that he's playing. I feel so uncomfortable with that situation, but I think that I should calm down, and show my compassion. He sometimes gets fussy, such as not wanting to go downstairs by himself but to ask me to hold him. I'm still training him to do it by himself, but sometimes I think it is necessary to let it go. Afterwards, we travel on my motorbike to buy Pho for lunch. When we come home, we continue to play for some small activities. When it's lunch time, I just say very calmly "It's lunch time", he replies at once without second thought "No". Sticking to the technique learnt from the "Duct Tape Parenting" book, I just sit down at the dining table and focus on having lunch, showing no emotion. As expected, he comes to join with me voluntarily.
16 May 2022
OMG, what a start of a weekday! As usual, in the early morning around 5am, my son asks me "Today is....?", which means "What's today, papa? I don't expect it to be a weekday". I am so aware of this ritual, so I answer him without any excitement "What's today? It's ....Monday". Normally, he would oppose it and whine "No, today's weekend" and then he would cry. However, in contrast to my thought, he says gently "Today is Monday, I get back to school!". What magic!
At around 5:30 am, I wake up and do some stuff, such as yoga, and ironing clothes. Suddenly, my son also gets up and opens the bedroom door, but he just talks about his toys and then gets back to sleep. What a relief! At 6:30 am, he wakes up by himself, but still feeling sleeping and yawing. Remembering what I've taught him before, he says it would be fine because he could take a long nap at school. I love him so much today, and these small things make my day.
17 May 2022
I expect him to be obedient and behave consistently every day. However, he gets up too early at 5:15 am and cries, asking me to get back to sleep with him. I surely do not give a budge for concession. He then gets back to sleep by himself but he cannot continue to sleep. So he wakes up early to play.
Before going to school, he wants to poop poop but insists on going to school to poop. Aware that he has never pooped at school, I patiently convince him to poop at home. After over half an hour, he cannot make it, so I have no choice but to drive him to school. It's not easy for me to accept this fact, but sometimes you need to let it go, and try your best in the future. Finding the ways to overcome his constipation is quite a hard challenge. I should encourage him to fibre-rich fruits (prune, mango, pear) and vegetables (broccoli and peas), whole-grain breads and cereals, and drink more water because these methods can go a long way toward alleviating constipation. Bowel movements.
Withholding - hold it in (hold in stool): Your child may ignore the urge to have a bowel movement because he or she is afraid of the toilet or doesn't want to take a break from play
Lack of physical activity
Can you believe it that my son does poop poop at school today? It's quite surprising because I do not expect this good news. The female teacher tells my grandparents that he poops today at school, and he acknowledges it, too. What a milestone! There are some reasons leading to this success, partly due to the positive change in his diet (we let him eat more fruits, such as avocado smoothies and drink more water), and partly due to my frequent reminding him to tell his teachers in case he feels the urge to poop. I love this awesome moment a lot.
19 May 2022
My son wants to poop poop at his grandparents' home, but instead of bowel movements, he just keeps staying still and holds it in. When we come home, he even sits on the sofa and moans as if he were going to have a labor. He shows his persistence and says no when I ask him to relax and poop in the potty. Feeling too frustrated with it, I ignore him for a while so that he would not show his opposition to his daddy. Like a magic, when the time comes, I come to "rescue" him on the spot, at the right time and at the right place. He stands up, and does not want to sit down on the potty, and keeps yelling as if he were to have labor at that moment. Unexpectedly, he pees on the floor out of his will two times, and finally I see one large stool falling down in the potty, followed by another smaller one. In contrast to my happiness, he vomits since it is so stinky. What a great milestone! I do it after trials and errors. I need to be thankful for the book "Duct Tape Parenting" for the "ignoring but caring" skills.
24 May 2022
Due to my son's constipation, he often finds it very hard to poop and tend to hold it on. Today is also the same, when I picked him up at his grandparents' home, I was told that he wanted to poop but he just tried to hold it on. After coming home, I took off the diaper, which was strapped on his body by his grandma. My strategy is say "no diaper" to him, so that he would not ask for it any more, and switch on sitting on the potty. After roughly one hour sitting on the sofa moaning and trying to hold his stool, he finds it too hard to continue like this. I find it is a golden opportunity to go to him, enticing him on the potty. At first, he did not want to sit down on the potty, but I held him and he finally gave up, the poop "jumped" out of his ass and fell down in the potty. He even peed peed on the floor, which was similar to the previous time. Thanks to the potty training, it came to my awareness that he tended to hold his urge to pee pee besides pooping. Finally, I was so relieved when he could poop poop successfully on the potty. However, it was just the beginning of a very long journey to a successful training.
28 May 2022
He's whining, getting fussy, and crying constantly for around 40 minutes. As a result of his long crying, he begins to cough and his throat may hurt. However, I try to ignore such negative behaviors. I will give concessions just in case he gets out of his bed. Otherwise, just keep crying!
Parenting is quite a tough journey for myself, especially when my wife is not by my side and I am just alone, like a single father taking care of his child. In spite of such difficulties and obstacles, I always believe that it would pay off some day, or the rough way would be better day by day, week by week, month by month, and year by year.
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